7 hours to a new year

As we all journey Into this new year I pray that everyone stays safe this evning.

know I stated before but I am stating it agian. I am Blessed. 2012 Is gonna be a year for proving. Proving myself to MYSELF. Working on health, Love, God, and work. So manythings to come. Happy New year everyone Love you!!!

The End and the Beginning

2011- It is amazing to me all the changes in my life over the past year. So much has happened, Good and Bad. Let me do a recap.

I have made it over a year in ROC, and over 3 years at dominion.

I have lost some friends

I have gained some friends (valuable ones that were a blessing)

I finished my house enough to move in.

the ups AND downs of being a home owner.

the ups And downs of living with out my parents.

the ups AND downs of living with my love.

God has been brought back into my life more thanks to the troubles and sorrows over the past year.

I realize I miss a particular person who I am so sure doesn't miss me. (heart break)

I bought a new SUV and kept my BMW (hurrah for stuff in my name)

Aaron got a job with Henrico (total blessing)

The world lost two amazing people.

Sharron Irby.....mother, friend, amazing person

Karen Verlander..... Mother, Friend, someone I think about all the time.

Things I look forward two in 2012

I look for Christy to come home soon

Starting a new Desk at work

Working on me.....In a few different ways. Thinking about how I AM good enough to persue a higher titled job.

Working on being healthy, not just "losing weight" that's not the biggest part. Being healthy and the rest will follow

Working on loving me for me. I am who I am, and I have always been the same person for 23 years.

I look forward to another year with Aaron, A true blessing in my life

And of course Stella

I want to spend more time with my friends that are here Tee and Heather.

finishing the rest Of the house and making it a full on home.

God has blessed me in so many ways....I can not say that 2011 didn't have its hard times. and that God DID in fact bring some beautiful people home....they are truly missed. But everything makes you stronger. FAITH my dear friends FAITH and common sense will get you far in life.

OctoBUUUUUUUUUURRRR

Time is fly and inching along. I cant belive I have been living in my house for 5 months already. I have now been a home OWNER for 2 years. Its still not all done but it mostly is. I got to decorations using fall accents, and fall candle smells. mmmmmm.

And now my house is all holloween decorated.

Aaron and I cut our first pumkins together.

My big blow up spider's name is edwardo.

And I am SUPER excited to put up our tree and decorate for christmas!!! Ill be hosting christmas at my house this year. very excited.

my first Redskins game.

MY FIRST REDSKINS GAME WAS AWESOME. I WENT WITH SOME SUPER AMAZING PEOPLE. TEE, ZACH,CARTER,BRIAN, RICKY , MY DADDY AND ME. IM SURE IM FORGETTING SOMEONE. BUT I THOURALLY ENJOYED IT. I LOVE HVING TIME TO RELAX WITH MY DAD AND FRIENDS. AND THE SKINS WON. WHO WOULDNT HAVE ENJOYED THAT!

For Karen

Wow where to begin. I first want to say my faith in God has never been stronger than it is right now. Because without faith in him, at times life would be unbearable. A beautiful amazing woman lost the her fight to cancer last month. Karen Verlander, has been in my life for so long. since i was in the 6ith grade. Threw this time I have become great friends with her son Chris Verlander and her daughter Katie Verlander. And honestly all the verlanders. They are family to me. My life is better that I ever knew you Karen. And I am happy you no longer hurt and you are cleaning up a storm. I love you very much.

Crazy Summer Days

It has been awhile since I have written. And alot has gone on. First a congratulations to my best friends Heather and Chris on there wedding. It was beautiful and lots of fun. It was a long time comming. And I hope that they enjoy less stress and more fun of being a married couple.
Second off Aaron has a new job... YAY ....also been a long time coming, working for the county. which is a great opertunity. I pray everything goes well with him on that. I am now just days away from being on vacation myself. And I am beyond ready. To sleep in if I want. Lay on the beach and READ. Just feel the sun on my skin and hear the soothing sounds of the ocean.
Third off. I really miss my friend....I hope we are still friends. I miss her, and love her.

To my Friend, You know who you are. I love you

Please know that you make my life wonderful. And that everything happens for a reason even though we dont know God's plan there is one. I miss you terribly and there is not one day that you are not in my thoughts,prayers,and heart. There is always a home for you with me. No matter what.
I know you dont want to think about memories, you want to look forward. But sometimes Memories help create a better future. Remember the good, and the bad. And I hope that we will create many more.
I love you, So deeply.....I miss you.

-maroon 5
-emmy
-va beach
-tequilla
-applebees
-rooftop
-mellophones
-butt tag
-broken right window
-worlds largest brocolli
-giant rolls of toilet paper
-t.p jeremy car. PRICELESS
-guys...list goes on and on.
-burning papers with Zakk <3
-summer with Zakk
-catching stop sign on fire
-writeing with hairspray and lighting it
-peach highlights
-blond highlights
-red highlights
-prom, both times you went with me.
-HAIRSPRAY
-RENT


There is not enough time in the day to tell you all the wonderful memories i have

I am loving.....

(previous June Post)


So much in my life is changing, I am for the most part loving it!


I am loving-


coming home to MY house every day.


sleeping in a king size bed.


Cooking


Having dinner at the table with a candle and Aaron


Stella, all Stella all the time ;-)


Watering plants


Seeing them grow!


Watching our, 6 corn stalks, 3 pepper plants, 2 cucumbers, and 1 watermelon grow!

I.... Just......sigh

Some times I just think I really am meant for others. I know its not realistic but i really do want romance in my life. I don't know what to say. Right now I feel sad and unhappy. In every-way. I just want to be loved and romanced the same way, every woman.

lil tears, gonna lay down

holy geeees

So I am not NEARLY "finished" moving all my stuff in.....mostly b.c I don't even know what I want to do with it. Even though it is only ONE room going into a HOUSE....it still seems like I have to much crap lol. But ....Today, is my First REAL meal for lunch AND dinner. We got our Fios and internet hooked up yesterday. And the KING size bed was also delivered. WOW. So tonight will be our first dinner just us and Stella and our first night in the bed together. SO CRAZY .... biggest smile on both our faces :-D

A new anthem I try to belive

It dosnt matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M

just put your paws up

cause you were born this way baby

My mama told me when i was young

we are all born superstars

She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on

In the glass of her boudoir

"Theres nothing wrong with loving who you are" she said,

"cause he made you perfect, babe"

"So hold your head up girl and you'll go far, listen to me when I say"

I'm beautiful in my way

cause GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES

I'm on the right track, baby

I WAS BORN THIS WAY

Don't hide yourself in regret

just love yourself and you're set

I'm on the right track baby I was born this way

Its funny how I knew this song, sang the words, and then one day I listened. And It was like, DUH, God makes no mistake.....Like someone at work told me a year ago, "Your a child of God arnt you? He dosnt make mistakes." Im so stubborn sometimes.

Learning to love myself......One day at a time

A slightly aggrivated post

(way I felt at work, I think he looks like my twin :-D)

I really have no patience for lazyness at work any more. (

We sit here 8-10 hours a day. In comparisson to alot of other jobs. This one is easy. It requires one to pay attention and be on top of things. But you also talk to amazing people day to day and make new friendships. There is a nice feeling too of thinking you helped get some lights back on. Well for me it is.

Bad adittudes in here are contagous, and It is really hard to not slip into feeling negitive also. But I refuse to let it happen. But I cant help but get super pissed when a ignorant person makes a "judgement call" really just a fuckin lazy call and someone is without lights for no reason. Ok the negitive is gone now.

ooooo summer time

I love and hate summer time. I love seeing flowers bloom, flip flops, sandle like shoes, TANNING, ocean, reading, bright clothes.

But I cant stand to be so flippin hot, Comin outta work to my black car, with black leather, and black tented windows. HOT! bugs, need I say more?

But any who...... I dont know this is a boring post. Im frustrated and want to vent but I dont know that I should HAHA.

I know the heart wants what it wants.

I know some people need to go back to a crap job with bad managers to understand that they are lucky.

I know Im tired

I know Im nervous about moving out.

But I also know Im starting a new chapter, of life, of growing up, of bills, and of aaron and our relationship

So many big things are happining right now.

I know I am missing Christy terribly, and talking on the phone for a few mins seems to make me even more sad b.c Its not enough(im selfish)

I wanna go swimming, lay out, read, have a drink. And sleep...... ok my mind is jumbled. So bye for now

Ahhhh Stepping out....soon....NERVOUS

So I am ready, It's going to happen....in 3 days. I will begin to move into my house. yes REALLY a year and 7 months after this journey began. And YES there is still some things that need to be done. but nothing that will stop me from moving in and LIVING there. I am so excited and nervous at the same time..... Only one room has NOT been changed In some mannor. the guest room. Every other room has been altered. for the better if I do say so myself. wow. *pause for a moment od self satisfaction* with our own hands, sweat,blood, curses, and tears this house is actually going to be a home. I know she is smiling everytime something else makes her pretty. Im kinda nervous.....for the first time in 23 years I will be without my mom and dad. weird. BUT lots of friends and parties to come :-D

oooh what to say what to say

Well yesterday I threw Heathers Bridal shower, AND had the very first party ever at my house. It was smashing baby! I got many complaments of how everything looked, tasted, and I lucked out with the weather.


My camera card is not letting me upload my pictures so I will post new pictures as soon as my tech savy boyfriend fixes it for me.
Im not gonna lie, this shower had me crazy. I wanted it to be perfect and It was $$$ stressing me as emotionally, and physically.


A big shout out to my Mom, Sister, Aaron, and my Daddy. With out there support and the grace of God I would have let Heather and myself down.


But just to give a lil over view of what I had going on.


I serverd


-sweet tea with fresh sliced lemons and oranges afloat on top


-lemonaide with fresh sliced lemons


-mamosa's (Being prepared on sceen by my darling sister the "help" for the day lol) with a sliced lime


-sweet and sour meatballs


-hot crab and shrimp dip


-hot spinach and cheese stuffed mushrooms


-Cheese,strawberry, and pecan dip


-fruit tray

-Spring Pizza


-wraps


-Cupcakes


-Cake





I had 2 tents set up with pink and orange decorations all over. I impressed myself. (of course it was not all me)





and to all the NAY sayers out there, that said I could not do it in time. I AM STICKING MY TOUNGE OUT AT YOU SOOOOOOO BAD.





pictures to follow :-)

May Flowers....

Well I cant belive it is may already. Time is really flying by. In 7 days I will be hosting my first ever party....at MY house.....I am stressed the heck out. Ya know just all the little things that are involved with throwing a party PLUS the fact that my house is a construction site. HOWEVER....some BIG changes have occured.

I adore my back yard. It is Amazing, and my front is too! We put down just a little sod (for an area that has such massive tree roots you wouldnt belive it) so that Grass will grow there. Aaron and Brian Cut in the stones to lay the stone walk way. Looks great. They are a comical pair...put two very ADD people together and ONLY they can know what the conversation really is about.

Aaron started on the latce around the bottom of the deck, I painted my deck a real hard blue and the latce is white.....to be honest with you it looks AMAZINGGGGGG. so fresh and really makes the color pop.

Even though I am stressed out beyond compair with this stupid stuff, I cant deny acknowleging that things ARE infact getting done and I have family and friend that are the greatest!!!!

P.s : Yard work is instant gradification, you start with a mess, sweat a little, and when you stop and look back its beautiful. Love it.

Heads or Tales? You choose....maybe?...not likely

So yesterday...I was really just having a crap day. I was trying to feel better. I tried smiling all the way to work (I read somewhere that If you smile, even just force it out, you will trick yourself into being happy). I more or less think I creeped out some people when I was driving with a huge grin on my face....not talking on the phone....no one in the car.... just me and my smile. Well needless to say...didnt make me feel to much better.

Well I get to work in a "GRRR" kinda mood, so go figure I wouldnt want to be there. Well Getting to see Tee and Zach Deff helped though. Tee has the most kind heart and she is a trip, Zach Cracks me up the whole time.... so it started to help bring down the irritation.

On the way home I put on Michael Buble' all my windows down, Started feeling even better. Now as a side note I live like 30-45min away from my work location, but it really dosnt bother me to much, I like to use it as my chill time, get my thoughts straight ect...any way while I was driving with my lover (AKA Michael Buble') seranading me. I was driving by the Diamond, It must have been a flying squirrels game and I caught the fire works going off..... I felt at peace and completely relaxed and happy. THE LITTLE THINGS NICOLE, THE LITTLE THINGS! These are what make my day. Im greatful for the friends I have and the job I have. :-D

Oh the places You will Go

Just food for thought. Beacuse I have about a 40 min drive each way to work, I like to notice licence plates. To see what state these people are from.

I like to see what diffrent plates look like.

But am I the only person who wonders where these people are going or where they are coming from? Was it a happy ocassion. Going to see family? A reunion? A death? VACATION!? A wedding? A birth? Possibly Moving? A job interview?

Maybe I am Nosy...but I do infact wonder.....why are you in VA? staying or just going threw???

Would you re-do the I DO ???

Marrige-"The social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc."

Is marriage a phase? After all, over sixty percent of them in the United States alone end in divorce? I think not.

Recently at work I heard my co-workers, both who had been married before, and are NOW in serious long term relationships, stating that they "would never make that mistake agian" or "I wouldnt set myself up for that agian..."

Isn't what we are "bred" to do is find the ONE, we are to be with, fall in love, get married, have babies, live happily ever after.... right? Obviously in real life the whole "happily ever after" thing dosnt really exist so easily.
But what relationship is without its troubles and fights. Wither it be a friendship or romantic relationship. Unfourtionatly, YES divorce does happen. Break ups happen. Friends are lost. So does that mean give up?
A wedding band is a endles circle. Forever and Always. Some times no, it dose not work out.

Maybe I have a unique view on the whole starting over aspect of a marrige. My mother AND father have both been married and divorced, before they were together. They both brought a child into the relationship......recently they celebrated 25 years married.
What a story right? Forever after DOES happen, It is just sometimes not the way we imagine it to be.
No matter how bad Aaron and I may fight, the good ALWAYS out weighs the bad. And sometimes we just need to rember that. It may not be forever with the person you thought it would be. But to completely give up home seems insaine to me. The want to be with the person to complete me would be to strong. Obviously God completes me, and all my needs. Lets just say I mean on a human level.
If my parents had given up on being in another "trap" I may not have my Brother and Sister. I cant imagine a life like that.
So my dear friends and readers(if you are out there) sometimes, just sometimes. Take a step back, and look at the beautiful things you have with someone. And remember, the good times, and that it outweighs the bad.

SOME OF MY HAPPY MEMORIES

(MY TRIP TO NEW YORK, AND THE DOG TAG HE MADE ME)





















(HOLDING MY NEWEST NIECE EVELYN, THE FIRST INFANT HE EVER HELD, HE WAS SO NERVOUS...PERFECT)







(WHEN YOU DATE A CARPENTER THE "I LOVE YOU" THAT YOU GET CAN BE WIERD :-D
























So I am curious....would you re-do the I Do????

Grasping A New Look On Life

With so many things on my mind and feeling overwhelmed I have decided to take a new look out on life. I WILL and AM going to start loving the little things that make me smile. The things that are making me feel overwhelmed in reality are small. I have endured much more stressful and heart wrenching moments in life. My father having cancer, mother having cancer, loosing my uncle to cancer, so on and so forth. Its funny how one stresser on my heart I can handle a little better then alot of small things. God will and always has guided me. FAITH, I need to re-vamp mine! A highschool class mate of mine has really inspired me and help guide my heart back to where it should be. On God, Family, Friends, FOOD lol and LIVING life not letting it live me! So here are a few things that alway lighten my heart and make me smile. Silly or not. Some times it is the small things that will make a diffrence.

-Cleaning out my car and taking her to get a bath. Smells so fresh and the tires are all shiney. I LOVE shiney tires!!! lol

-COOKING, the smell of a new recipe, mine OR borrowed it dosnt matter. I am LOVING peppers! Red,Yellow,Orange,Green it dosnt matter they all have a sweet and daring taste. and the colors are perfect and make me feel important (dont ask idk)
-Going to lowes and spending over $200.00 on plants for my yard. (I cant wait to plant them tomrrow)

-When the man I love, kisses me on the back of my neck out of no where :-D
-When Stella gets a new toy and shows it to the yard, and other dogs, and to anyone new who comes in the house.Its pretty great.

this is steve the spider
-Falling into a freshly made bed at the end of the day
-when MOM makes the bed. about 100 times better than when I do. I swear I even sleep better!!!

See These are just a small few things that is what living is about! God has blessed me in so many ways! For me to be sad is stupid. I think I should come back and read this when I feel down. :-D So from here on out, I am loving even the small things that make me smile!

Counting days.

So when I have a lot on my mind there is always on thing that helps me. COUNTING DOWN!!!! so here are a few things that I am Excited/Nervous/Stressed/Happy about.


- 21 Days until Heathers Bridal Pictures.

- 24 Days until Heathers Bridal Shower.
- 24 Days until my FIRST house party at my house!!!!!
- 64 Days until Andy Turns 6 (she is growing up so fast)

- 64 Days until I have a pedicure with my Niece for her Birthday.
- 86 Days until 2 of my best friends get married!!!

- 116 Days until I can celebrate my Babies 21st birthday (WAHOO)

- 126 Days until our 4 year anniversary.

WOW...it has been awhile

Well hello agian fellow bloggers. I have neglacted this thing for about a year now. so much has happened that I might as well break it up into several diffent entries.
One thing worth noting Is I am 23 now not 22, Stella Is a year and a month old, and weighs at least 165 pounds. so amazing... The job I had been praying for I was wonderfully blessed with :-) And I am still not in my house just yet haha. but the progess is quite amazing. more pictures to come.

Over the past weekend a tornado touched down in Glouster Virginia killing 6 people at this time and injuring countless more. When something that is such a small disaster happens I wonder how we virginians would fair in a BIG disaster. I dont know what it was liek working here during hurrican Katrinia but it sure would be a mess!!! Or how about the earthquake in Japan or the Tusnami. The people that have had to live threw it...i dont know what to do but pray for and wish for the best... well i suppose I ought to get back to work....till later tah tah